Classico sounds a bit like a jar of tomato sauce, but I suppose the man on the shirt is Italian, so it’s not completely ridiculous. I was never very big on Popeye, the super power up of spinach never captured me (the way a similar power up did on the Gummi Bears).. maybe it had to do with it being spinach. Also, let’s be fair, his girlfriend was not attractive and pretty annoying. Bluto can have her, as far as I’m concerned. Mario, of course, as I’ve well documented, is my guy. Well, he and his brother. I’m not sure if there’s a connection between being a sailor and being a plumber, and, similar to spinach, I was never a huge fan of mushrooms growing up, but I would rock this shirt for sure. (Available at Threadless)
Seriously.. that bear will mess you up. Smokey the Bear (apparently, he’s officially “Smokey Bear”, but that’s news to me) has always been at the forefront of the fight on forest fires. Yes, I enjoyed getting to write that. Anyway, I grew up with the image of him telling me that only I could prevent forest fires – which at the time I didn’t entirely understand. I realised that I was a child, and I wasn’t really sure why they would give me – a child who rarely ventured into the forest – all of this fire fighting power. At some point I suppose I came to the conclusion that Smokey was speaking to all children individually, but regardless of how he went about it, he did reinforce some bits of fire safety. Well, other than the phase most boys go through where they enjoy lighting things on fire. Fire is pretty cool. Oh, the shirt! Right. This violent and aggressive side of Smokey isn’t one I really remember, but if the man (or, I should say, the bear) wants to really hammer his point home to children who won’t listen, sometimes a wallop with a shovel is the only answer. Most bears would use their claws, but not Smokey – this shirt shows how civilized he truly is. (Available at Threadless)
What’s the plural of octopus? Octopi? Octopusses? I’m wading into lewd waters here, so I’ll stop there (get it? waters? because it’s an octopus? Ha!). Anyway, this singular octopus, avoiding my plural dilemma, has decided it’s time to disguise himself (actually, I’m not sure if he’s a him, but enough with the marine biology). What else but Bugs Bunny? I’m not sure it’s the most convenient – he needed a poor scuba diver (who appears to lose his oxygen tanks in the process) to be the character’s teeth – so at very least it’s a situational disguise. Still, if anyone other than Elmer Fudd is looking for an octopus, and they’re willing to look past an underwater rabbit, it might just work. (Available at Threadless)
Evil Care Bears! With spray paint, stars that appear to be for more harm than love, mohawks, tattoos, sunglasses, and a menacing pose with a baseball bat, the Care Bears on this shirt are not to be trifled with. I’m pretty sure these not-so-lovable bears would tear right through Care-a-lot, and I don’t even want to know what terror their Care Bear Stare would produce. I never knew Care Bears could be feral, but there they are. (Available at Threadless)
Smurf? ANGRY Smurf! From their Dutch beginnings, the Smurfs have always kind of freaked me out a little bit. I mean, they’re really weird. This shirt depicts a particularly incensed unidentifiable (I think.. I don’t remember Angry Tribal Smurf, at least) Smurf flying through the air, ready to shoot something with his arrow. Makes.. sense? (Available at Threadless)
This reminds me of Steamboat Willie, or some other early-Disney character (perhaps the Simpsons version of early Micky – Steamboat Scratchy?). I love the idea that they themselves came up with color in a lab somewhere, I’d love even more to see the cartoon. For now, of course, the shirt will have to suffice. (Available at Threadless)
Oh, Velma. Somehow you became a crazy emo survivalist in a post-apocalyptic world with Scooby as your only companion. Or at least that’s what the shirt leads us to believe will happen. As can be seen on the van, Shaggy, Fred, and Daphne have taken a bad one, and Scooby looks to have adapted to his environment. Clinging onto a monster hand like a bone looking all fierce like and such (to be fair, there is still some bone on the arm). All in all, awesome t-shirt. (Available at Threadless)
